The big question


*First I hope my story last night on insta was not confusing. I know some of you thought I was announcing the sex but it stated I was announcing IF we would be finding out the sex or not

One of the first questions I received from so many friends when we found out we were pregnant was, “Are you waiting to find out if you’re having a girl or a boy?” This was an extra hot topic for us because we waited to find out with Charlie, and we found out with Ford when I was around 20 weeks pregnant.

I was sure I didn’t want to find out with our third, but this is also the first time I’ve been able to design a nursery, and it’s the first time I have toddlers that would understand the news. I was initially going to wait to put the nursery together until after delivery, but I think it would be nice to put together a nursery before delivery at least once! We were in an apartment when we brought both boys home from the hospital, and I kept the boys in our room for a while so it seemed like a waste of space at the time. It would also be so fun to tell the boys and get them all excited.

The one thing that brought me stress with waiting to find out with Charlie was baby naming. I found it hard to come up with names without knowing if you are actually picking names for your baby or not. Knowing that Ford was a boy made the baby naming process much easier.

That being said, I still loved waiting to find out if Charlie was a boy vs. a girl. There was something so exciting about waiting and then having this huge surprise. I know many people say, “Well, it’s a surprise, no matter what.” Having done both, I can assure you it is just a surprise on a different level ( my personal experience). I’ll never really be a big reveal person, I don’t think, so opening an envelope (we opened a gift with clothing -pink vs. blue onsie) vs. finding out during one of the biggest experiences of your life was night and day for me. It’s not just that, though; the entire journey was different when we waited vs. when we found out.

For some reason, I felt an immense amount of pressure to have a girl for number two. I think I just thought I had my boy and who knows if this will be my last time to have a girl. I was really wrapped up in that thinking, and when I found out I was having another boy in that same moment, I also mourned never having that daughter/mother relationship my entire life. I’m very close to my mom, so it is something that was on top of mind. Now I have two toddler boys, and I believe my “boy mom” role is here to stay ( which I LOVE). I think there is obviously something special about experiencing both a mother/son, mother/daughter, relationship, but I think there is something just as special, and that is having a family filled with all girls or all boys. I can honestly say at this point I think both are as equally as special, and I would love another boy. A girl almost seems like it is out of the picture. I can’t explain it, but I really feel like I’m having another boy.

That being said, I want to be able to have my cake and eat it too. I don’t want the added stress of picking a name and then having 24-48 hours to decide. You’re obviously picking from more names with boy and girl names. We already have a boy name that could work for both a boy or girl, but it is more traditionally used with boys, so I’m a bit hesitant to use it for a girl. I can’t for the life of me find a girl’s name that works for us. So I decided if we don’t have a girl’s name in the next few weeks, I’m not going drive myself crazy over it. I’ll find a few (hopefully), and if we do have a girl, we can always name our baby the following week. Yup, guess what!? You don’t actually have to give the hospital a name. I hope I don’t have to rely on that method, but knowing the option is there has dissipated any stress I previously had.

Now for the nursery. I’m so excited about designing my first nursery that will be ready before my baby is ready for a big boy bed lol. I have some really cool fabric and a few items that lean more towards girl. I’m not a girly girl by any means, but the nursery will surely have some cool girl undertones. I think it would be fun to decorate a nursery for a little girl, and this is my way not to miss that experience. I think if we do have a girl, that would be the one thing I would be bummed about not doing beforehand, so I’m so doing it! I know you think I’m crazy, don’t worry it’s not going to scream boy or girl, that’s not my style it will still be very neutral, but it will be exactly how I would decorate it for a girl either way.

I know for some of you this post might be a bit disappointing lol. I know I have a few close friends who have been wanting to find out 🙂 !! There is just something so special about waiting. I can’t completely put my finger on it, but it’s not just about finding out at the time of birth; it’s also about the entire process. For me, the unknown makes this process more about the journey as a whole vs. the end result. That’s the best way I could put it. I feel more connected to the journey as a whole when waiting to find out if this tiny little miracle is a boy or a girl.

So… we wait.

Check out Charlie’s birth story HERE, spoiler alert *Ray announced the sex of the baby in the delivery room with Charlie and accidentally first announced we were having a girl!!!

I plan on writing Ford’s birth story before this baby is born 🙂

to find out or to wait

July 23, 2020

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